


My Angel

by searchingforsigns



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Carmilla - Freeform, F/F, Guardian Angel, Lost Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 10:57:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4302144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/searchingforsigns/pseuds/searchingforsigns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eight years. Eight long, horrible years Laura's been gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Angel

It had been eight years exactly today since Laura had died. Eight long years, Carmilla had been stuck in a horribly severe depression. She drank the blood of people on drugs and alcohol to get their high, which caused Perry and LaFontaine extreme worry. But no matter how many interventions they staged, nothing ever helped. Nothing could bring Carmilla back from the crazy downhill spiral she was caught in. The partying, the drinking to forget… They couldn't help her and had to watch the vampire try everything to kill herself, and watch her fail and sink lower every time. It killed them. They both ached for Laura, but they also mourned the Carmilla they knew and loved when Laura had departed them.  
Since today marked the anniversary of Laura's death, the vampire went to her grave. She visited every Christmas, because she remembered how much Laura loved Christmas. She sat back, and replayed the memory of the crazy cookie lady every year. Laura's birthday, to leave flowers and a single frosted cupcake. And June 10th. The day that Laura had been taken off of life support. Plus some days in-between, when she missed Laura so much she felt emptier than normal.  
Carmilla saw the gravestone, marked with her lover's name. The feline stares at it for a few seconds, before she fell to her knees, the tears choking her throat. "I'm s-s-s-sorry Creampuff." She can barely spit out, her tears falling to the ground and sinking into the Earth above Laura's grave. "I'm so, so sorry." For eight years, she repeated this cycle, and for eight years, Crmilla blamed herself for Laura's death.  
The vampire hugs her knees to her body like a young child, painful memories flashing through her thoughts. Memories of Laura before she'd been diagnosed with the leukemia, memories during all the treatment, and the agony of the days after her love's death.  
-"You have to promise me," Laura said one day, as they sat together in the hospital, "that you won't try and save me." The pale girl looks out the window, avoiding Carmilla's sudden stiffness in the hand that held the fragile girl's. "I know you, Carm. You'll take me home and make me a vampire. But I can't live like that, love. Maybe you can, but I can't. So promise me you won't." She looks over at the feline, who dropped her eyes to avoid Laura's gaze. But the younger makes Carmilla look at her, and when she does, both the girls' eyes filled with unspoken pain. But looking over her love's frail body, Carmilla gives in. It was Laura's dying wish. Unless she gave the okay, she just had to watch her die. No matter how much it killed her in return.  
And about a month later, Laura was in a coma on life support. She was braindead, and forced to breathe. There was nothing that could be done, and Carmilla had lost the love she'd thought she'd spend forever with.-  
The vampire regretted it now. Not a single day in eight years, had she not regretted it. But she was also aware that if she'd saved Laura, for the rest of eternity, the headstrong girl would never forgive her. And it was almost better to have Laura gone then to have her hate Carmilla.  
Tears continue to fall, mixed with blood and the black of mascara. It was true, vampires cried blood, but only after they'd cried the little amount of water they could hold in their bodies.  
"God dammit, Laura. I miss you.." Carmilla cries out, her voice broken and lost. Why is it, everyone she loved, died young? She must carry some kind of curse. Her head buries deeper into her knees, and she whimpers like a hurt animal. That is until she feels a soft touch on her shoulder.  
Turning to face the source of the touch, she blinks back blood-laced tears.  
Laura stood in pure white, angel wings gracing her lost love's shoulders and a golden halo floating above her head. Hesitantly, the younger girl reaches out and touches Carmilla's cheek, causing the vampire a new wave of tears.  
"Laura, cupcake, why-?"  
"Shhhh," Laura gently cuts her off, trailing her fingers over Carm's cheek for comfort. "Love, it's been eight years. And you deserve a much better life then you've had since I passed. I've watched you, you know that Carm? You need to stop blaming yourself. I love you for not forcing me to become someone I didn't want to become." Laura's eyes were filled with pain. If anyone was to bolame for Carmilla's sadness, it was Laura. She could have easily changed into a vampire. But she told Carmilla no.  
"God Carmilla, you're gonna meet another girl in a few years. I know it seems crazy now but she's going to take your breath away and you're going to be happy again, and that's all I want for you. But that'll never happen if you don't let me go." She kisses her former lover's forehead gently. "I've tried to be your guardian angel darling, but you keep ignoring all my signs. I wish that I could've helped more then I have. I'm so sorry," a frown takes over her heavenly face, and she bites her lip.  
"But, Laura, I've never loved anyone more then I've loved you. How could I let you go?" Carmilla chokes up, her dark eyes refusing to meet Laura's lighter ones. Thank gosh she did; she wouldn't be able to handle the melancholy and worry in Laura's hazel eyes.  
"Carmilla, you have to. Until you let me go you will never be happy. It's my only wish. For you to be as happy as you deserve." Slowly, Laura fades away, the touch of her fingers on the vampire's cheek the last to leave.  
When Laura was completely gone, the feline looks around frantically, crying out Laura's name and countless nicknames she'd given. But the younger had left with the wind, all traces of her vanished.  
And now, Carmilla felt more lost than ever. Sitting on her lost love's grave, she physically felt her unbeating heart shatter into a million more pieces.  
"Let me go..." The wind whispers, blowing Carmilla's dark hair back. The vampire looks into the sky, tears continuing to fall. Carmilla couldn't let go, at least, not at that moment.  
It wasn't until three years later that a girl came along, just as Laura had promised. And when she did, Laura smiled from her place in the heavens, knowing Carmilla would be okay.


End file.
